Permission Not to be an Expert..

I am not pretending to know much of anything. That’s kind of what this is about… not knowing things and the permission to not be the expert on everything.

At this point, we are in a culture where we are all trying to be experts on things that we have no business being experts on. With circulation of Covid, I, personally, feel the pressure to all of a sudden be all things expert to my kids, to my church and to myself. To be the one with the right answers, the informed answers, the hopeful statements, the politically correct posture and the socially motivational quotes seems to be super important.

Most of us, with kids, are going to be entering a time where we are at home teaching our kids, plus carrying our jobs and trying to keep our sanity. While going over my teaching responsibilities this morning, I came to a conclusion, “I am not a school-teacher. I don’t know this stuff.” At that point I felt the pressure to learn it so I could teach my kids. Then it hit me, “I never knew this stuff, I was always really bad at Math, and its not going to change now.”

“Sometimes its easier to be happy when you don’t know everything. ”

— Alexander McCall

My kids have amazing teachers. Really amazing teachers. I love them. I feel like my kids are being robbed by not being with them. If I even begin to pretend for a moment that I can fill their shoes for even a second, I am really deceiving myself. By our students not being able to attend school, they are truly missing out, and we should not pretend that we can carry on business as usual.

This isn’t business as usual, this is a chance to change the business. We have been forced to slow down and to look at ourselves and our kids differently.

Maybe this is more a personal reflection than anything else.

Maybe someone else can get something from this or feel the permission not to be the expert, but I know that I am not going to be the best teacher in the world. In being honest about that, I can start to really own the fact of the things I can be the best at.

I can be a man who loves my kids and invites them into a journey of wonder together. I can be a student of the things I don’t know and the teacher of the things I do know. I can teach my kids how to ask great questions and how to sit and listen. Personally, I can teach them about the sunrise and show them turkey as they fly down from the roosts in the morning. I can teach them how to make soap and all the chemical reactions involved in the process. I can show them the smell of sanding a piece of fresh cut cedar and how to build a shelf or a desk. I can show them the value of time, because I have forgotten the value of time. I will learn how to play the x-box and step out of my comfort zone as I stutter through a headset. I will learn how to crochet, and I will watch a lot of Disney Plus.

Yes we will do all the online school work, we will get the job done, but that isn’t what I will be the expert on. I am going to be the expert on being a father to my children. This isn’t a thing anyone else can do but me, and I am going to be great at it.

To all of the parents out there who feel the pressure to be the expert on everything… Please leave that facade to the politicians. It is not becoming of us. Let’s rise and be parents. Let’s rise in freedom. Take what is yours to own and own it well. Be proud of what you have to offer your kids. Let’s be awesome and support each other. We aren’t the experts; we are the parents… and as the parents we are going to be exactly what our kids need.